Another Negative

We did our cycle study this month. The good news is Sean is perfect (but hey, he already knew that).

Sean’s analysis came back great. I was especially happy with the volume of the sample. In order to have a “normal” sample you need 15 million sperm, he had 55 million and they were healthy. That takes a weight off of our shoulders. At least we have good swimmers in the game!

When I went in to get my progesterone tested it came back at 6.9, you need a level of 10+ to indicate that you ovulated. They are assuming I did not ovulate or I ovulated so late that my body wouldn’t recognize a pregnancy before I got my period, anyway. At least we have a direction to go in now.

I was under the impression I would be starting a medicated cycle this month but the MD wants me to go in for an HSG to check my tubes and see if there are any blockages that are making it hard to get pregnant. With that procedure they will not medicate ovulation for that month because they is a small amount of radioactive dye (SCARY).  I also have to go in for multiple blood workups and ultrasounds.Which stinks. It sucks. It’s painful. It’s hard to accept. Going through so many more tests and being poked and prodded when you know that you aren’t going to conceive this upcoming cycle. It makes it more difficult to stay motivated. The light at the end was so close but now it is just a littttle further away than it was before. I know it is just another month of waiting but, it doesn’t make it any easier. Each month is another bit of heartache. It’s like you’re running a race and you just want to get to that finish line. Bring on the morning sickness, I can handle that!

I’m thankful that we are finally testing . I’m thankful for my doctor. I am thankful for my husband and my beautiful baby. I’m thankful we have at least a chance to have another baby. I’m also impatient. I’m tired. I’m emotional. I’m envious. I want a baby and Chinese takeout more than ever. Today is officially cycle day 1 and it is hitting hard

I try to keep an upbeat attitude but I don’t enjoy posting this news. Although not bad, it’s not the news I so desperately want to tell you . I long for the day that I can write a post announcing our pregnancy and the journey and then the beautiful and perfect birth.


Some day, just not today.

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