I’ve found myself in a really uncomfortable place. My lifestyle is changing and it is like a bear just came out of their cave after hibernation. I’ve been in a friend-hibernation and ..I hate it.
My best friend lives two hours away and is in college as well as working full time so we barely have time to talk much less see each other. My cousin who I grew up with (like sisters) lives two hours away and we chat over text but it is hard for us to ever get together. I have no friends outside of work.
My husband has been my “faux friend” for the last 5 years. He’s done a pretty darn good job but – I’m kind of ready to get back out there. I want to meet up for coffee or have a play date. I want to vent about our husbands leaving the toilet seat up or not putting their laundry in the laundry basket. I just want a social life. A mom social life. I don’t want to go and do shots but I also don’t want to sit at home trying to find the next best show on Netflix, alone.
I moved here not knowing anyone but that was nearly five years ago…so why do I still not know anyone? I have mentioned it before to Sean but honestly I always found an excuse or felt too bad about myself to go out and seek friendship. I don’t want to come off desperate or have it seem like I have no friends because I am weird or a bad friend. I’m just a mom that is learning how to be healthy and rewashing the same load of laundry three times a week because I forget about it. That can’t be THAT abnormal, right?
With all of these growth honestly comes a lot of uncomfortably. I am having to view things in a different light that my low self-esteem and sedentary lifestyle kind of hid from me before. I didn’t have to deal with making friends because I never wanted them. I haven’t had to deal with actually caring about what I wore or doing my hair because my depression and anxiety just kind of covered it all up before. I didn’t care . It was easier not to care. Now, I am scrambling to pick up all the slack I have been letting go. It’s overwhelming and a little sad. I let a lot of things go, including friendships. I wish I would have started this a long time ago *Sigh*
So – if you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain…….or if you have a toddler/kid and want a friend…. let me know?